Sarah

Today my baby girl moved out.

Ok, so she's not really a baby any more

Still, it was a milestone in my life as well as in hers.

How do I feel about this?

Mixed emotions

I discovered that all the things I ever heard or read were true. The closer your children get to the age where they move away, the worse they seem to behave towards their family. I heard that it is their way of making it easier to cut the apron strings. You're glad for them to go away and learn to be an adult.

Then there is the mommy side of me

The mommy remembers Sarah as a little curly haired girl, who would try to "take care of" her baby brother Sam, and then baby Kacie. Once, after I had told her over, and over, not to carry Kacie, she dropped her on the floor in the kitchen. Kacie had a small flower imprinted in her forehead from the pattern in the linoleum.

Sarah also cut hers and Sam's hair once. Of course she cut a slice into the back of Sam's head at the same time. She also knocked out Sam's front tooth when he was 2 years old, playing ring around the rosies with him.

Poor Sarah was always my clutzy child. I think it was because she grew so fast. It took her mind time to catch up with her body.

Now she is all grown up and moved into an apartment with a friend. As of today she learn how tough it truly is to be a grown up. Paying rent, buying all your groceries, cleaning supplies, electricity, insurance, etc.

Gone forever is the frivolous spending of her youth. Perhaps she will start to wish she had stayed at home. She will learn that she truly had it good while here.

But she will never decide these things are true until she she learns for herself.

Kacie is probably dancing a jig over having her own room!

I wonder what Kacie will find to complain about now?

Jan 27th

Today is my Mother's birthday. Although she's been gone for 5 years now, I thought I'd be like Margaret, and write just a little something about her to commemorate her birthday.

Holly loved her family. She loved to talk to her girls and loved for us to come and visit. When I would try to leave, she would often follow me to my car, still talking. I would get in anyway and roll down the window so she would know that I really needed to go.

Still talking.

I would start my car so Mom would know that I really needed to go.

Still talking.

Finally I would begin slowly backing out of the driveway.

She would walk down the driveway, beside my car, still talking!

I miss that.

I remember the way she would look at me when I was telling her about something. She would tip her head back just a bit, looking down her nose as though she had on her bifocals, and really study me.

She loved color! Every room in her house was painted. Her taste and decorating skills were impeccable.

She was a perfectionist.

She would be in my house and say "Suzee, that picture is crooked." To which I would reply, "I know." I could see it was crooked, I just didn't care to do anything about it. But mom would always see the details and be bothered if they were out of whack.

Mom loved to receive a corsage to wear on Mother's Day. This was something that my Dad never seemed to remember to do for her. When I was grown, I took it upon myself to make this part of my gift to her every year. I loved making sure she felt special that day. Like the rest of the Mom's at church.

She taught me to be a voracious reader, to love the theater. She taught me to sew, and I inherited her sense of color, and decorating skills. For that I am very thankful!

I have her hands! Seriously. They look exactly like hers.

Mom loved going to the movies! She was my movie buddy. We saw many movies together in the early afternoons, while my children were in school.

In January of 2004 I was very pregnant with Dan. She called me to tell me she had just seen a commercial for a movie and couldn't wait to go and see it! I was getting ready to take my maternity leave from all my nail clients, and told her the movie would have to wait until next week when I was no longer working.

She passed away that Friday.

We never did get to see that one last movie together.

I regret that.

Life is fragile. Never put off spending time with your family. Work can be put aside and wait. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone here in this life.

I miss you Mom.

What field trip?

Today was supposed to be Dan's preschool field trip to the Wildlife World Zoo.
I guess you can tell by the photo that he didn't go.
He has had a cold for almost a week now. He ran a fever for a few days, and then just couldn't seem to get over the cough. I kept him home from preschool on Friday, and from church on Sunday. No sense in sharing his cooties. I figured with Monday being a holiday and after all that time at home he would be right as rain by now.
Then a couple of days ago he started complaining that his head hurt. When I would ask him to show me where it hurt he would either rub the top of his head or point to his forehead. He would even wake up in the middle of the night and come and tell me that his head hurt.
This morning I took him to urgent care and had them take a look at him.
The PA looks in one ear and says "Buddy, doesn't your ear hurt?" Exclamation point!
Dan "No."
PA "Are you sure this ear doesn't hurt?" Can you hear the doubt in his voice?
Dan "No."
Now looking at me he says "He's got a major infection in that ear."
I'm just sitting there looking foolish
dumbfounded
feeling guilty
saying huh?
He walks around the table, looks in the other ear
"How about this one? Does it hurt?"
Dan "No."
Tell me, how can a child have a raging double ear infection and his mother not know?
Do we not reside in the same home?
Are his ears maybe in some strange way wired to his headache sensors?
Or am I just one of the worlds worst moms?
Two prescriptions later
One for the cough
One very expensive antibiotic
$70 and yes that's the generic

Penance perhaps.

Restitution paid for lack of knowledge.

Silly kitty

Indy finally discovered the fish Dan got for Christmas.

Now this is where he spends all his time (when he's awake).

He just can't understand why he can't touch the fishy.

The plastic fish tank is beginning to show very fine scratches.

I wonder how that could happen?

Resolutions?

Why is it only at New Years that we think of bettering ourselves?
Should all hopes of learning new talents, trying to be thinner, having less debt, being nicer, be limited to once a year?
Aren't most resolutions broken/quietly forgotten within the first few weeks of making them?
I married Mary Poppins. "Practically perfect in every way".
Shh...don't tell him.
He can and does do everything he sets his mind to.
So I sit here, on Jan 2nd no less, doubting my own ability to make and keep resolutions.
I am exceptionally good at procrastinating!
Can I ever be as good as the man I married?
I'm still toying with the idea of making a project 365 of my year.
Thinking about all kinds of thing I could resolve to do this new year.
I think I could resolve to yell less
I however don't think I yell. I grew up with 3 sisters. Read lots of noise (talking).
You had to speak loudest to be the one whose voice was heard.
Can you imagine 4 teenage girls under one roof?
I also did theater and am very good and projecting!
Shall I resolve to
Be kinder
Blog more
Blog less
Save more/spend less
Try to enjoy cooking dinner for my family
Work on not being selfish
Use less sarcasm
Finish my growing pile of unfinished projects

Hmm....
I think I'll start tomorrow